so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
