i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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