A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
