His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
