the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
