My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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