but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
