Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
