i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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