I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
