can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
