no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
