How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
