3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
