was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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