call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
