You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize