one might say we're banned from that church
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
