theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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