So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
