what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
