Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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