whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
