She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
