We named our party play list daddy issues
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
