oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
