what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
