Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
