id be glad to
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
