My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
