Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
