I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
