Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize