did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
