A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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