4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
