I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I think i got beer on your cat.
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