whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
