I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sorry about my life...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize