My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
