Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
