She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
