Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
