i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
