i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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