I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
