Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
