took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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