I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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