i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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