My hand turned me down
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize