operation harelip BJ is a go
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
