I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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