i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
