I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
