Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
