Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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