he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize