It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
