I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
